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Note: Yale’s withdrawal rate runs about 5%–a reflection of the market beating returns they’ve earned as an active investor. But the actual formula reflects a variable withdrawal rate because the planned draw for the coming year equals 80% of the current year’s draw plus 20% of the historical spending rate times applied to the endowment fund’s previous year’s ending balance.

Is it stereotypical that the AARP crowd would be the ones to spend three hours talking about metal detectors and canning and caving at a Pizza Hut on a Monday night? Probably, but that’s what I bore witness to in this event room; its combination of exposed wood and stock-photo decor felt like an Olive Garden inside a pirate ship. Up front, the scraggly white-bearded, Bad Santa–lookalike Andrew: rested one foot on a chair, gripping the mic, just like Randall said he would be. 
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